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Well, I never!

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Okay, maybe I have a couple of times, but I was drunk and lonely at the time.

Moving on to a different subject, I attended the first birthday of my friece the other day.

What’s a friece?

It’s the daughter of a friend that’s close enough for me to be known as Uncle Mike.

My words will catch on one day, just you wait.

With the friece going through a shoe biting phase, I didn’t go nuts on the designer shoes this year, preferring to keep the gifts low-key, so that’s not the point here.

The reason I mention this story is not because of the drunken shenanigans, nor the all in brawl in the ball pit.

I swear those one year olds know how to party.

Anyway, I was standing there looking fabulous as always, when a family friend approached me and decided to strike up a conversation.

After the initial introductions, the little lightbulb went on and she exclaimed “Oh! You’re the shoe guy!”

Not the wonderful humanitarian.

Not the potential world-famous designer of all things fantabulous.

The Shoe Guy.

It’s got a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

Anyway, the polite chuckles ensued while my mind raced with copyrighting the title, when she looked down and said “Well let’s see what you have on today.”

After a cursory glance: “Oh. Just normal shoes.”

Normal shoes?

Normal f*%^ing shoes????

They were Kenneth Coles!

They were perfectly colour coded with the rest of the outfit!

I had never been so insulted! (By that particular person at that particular time about those particular shoes)

Thankfully I was humbly magnanimous enough to acknowledge the day was only half about me and there was a first birthday going on, so the hissy fit was held back.

I’m a hell of a guy.

Normal shoes….

DSC_2784

Shoes – Kenneth Cole Reaction

Jeans – Hugo Boss

Shirt – Oxford

Jacket – Oxford



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